| Ever had a happy memory that was simply a lie... or Ever had a past love that you shouldn't have let go... or Ever been in love with someone that just wasn't doing anything correctly... or Ever liked or love someone you knew that was useless to even try... My past in a nutshell. I daydream consistently but I look above from the clouds towards the cruel reality below. I believe sometimes I should wake up from my childish thinking while all the same enjoying the quiet delusion that is these hopes. |
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| Vague. Confusing and just damn ... goddamn sick of it.
You were constantly were reminding how good you felt with me. How you miss me. How you feel wretched. How you demanded vengeance. How you reminded of the past. How you wish you had me back. How it all used to be...
Out of respect. I left you alone.
Still... constantly reminded of my bad choices. Regardless of how I feel. I'll admit it. I miss you. Quite alot. I too remember the good times. I too remember the happiness. What has happened thus far.
Alot.
Irregardless you strived for things to just return. For things to go back to state held in the past. Like a child refusing to move from his spot. Holding his ears. Screaming , deafening screams of relentless assault of demands. With tears streaking across your bare skin.
So I ask myself. Why do I care? Do I care? Yes. Yes I do. I feel horrid. What shall I do about it? Shall I comfort you with lies and sugar? Coat the world in a streak of rainbows and marygolds? No. I'll be respectful and leave you alone. This doesn't help... Then suddenly!
... there's a chance. A possibility. A resolve. A chance, I was being whole-heartedly ready for. Because I too longed for you.
You take it. And crush it. Out of revenge? Out of smite? Idk.
So now it's my turn to take my own advice. Regardless of what is said about me. Regardless of the events.
So now it's my turn to take my own advice.
 "Get over it." |
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| Ugh. -Gums hurt. -Tired all the time -Stomach Pains. Ugh. A Noteworthy decline in health. I guess they weren't lying when they said you can't survive on cup noodles and soda. Meh. Trust me. If I could be drinking Soymilk and Green Tea, Fruit Salads and lots more food. I would. I also partially blame WoW. Not for being addicting but my HUGE HUGE HUGE increase in my liking for Mountain Dew. Which I TOTALLY love btw. Sweet caffine awesome-NESS. Ouch. Alas I haven't eaten as much as I wanted and seemed to have replaced water with soda. NOT A GOOD THING. Meh. *goes off to cook some noodles* T-T Strike that. No noodles. *cooks rice and starts to defrost burger patties* Nothing like hamburger and rice :3 Albeit if I had food to work with I'd have no problem at the min. Meh I'll post later
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| Everytime I think about you...I miss you.So it's so hard to say...I'm sorry.
Well this is almost the end guys. Seriously. End of the month. This shall be the end.
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| Another...soft whisper escapes my lips...
edging...teasing...nearing... Another...soft whisper escapes my lips...
caring...tickling...touching...
Another...soft tear escapes my lids... trickling...biting..freezing... Another...soft blade escapes my wrist...
breaking...feeling...missing... Another...soft whisper escapes my lips...
I'm sorry
Meh. I would be playing Phantasy Star Universe still if my internet didn't die so randomly while I was grinding my TECHNICs up T-T; Ended up listening to music and was bored so I made somemore emo poetry. Even though I'm kinda now emo. I'm bothered by recent events alot I suppose but I've yet to act apon my emotions such as crying or emoing out and stuff. Kinda look at it. Nod and try to move on ya know? I mean since when did I mellow out so much? Crazy eh? Maybe it's the Maximum Tune 2 Music. Oh well I suppose. Hmm other day I saw my sister Krissie and MAN was she pulling a drama trip on me. I mean come on. I moved out and it's not like anyone attempted to talk to me and HELL when they did they barked at me. I have my old man STILL a loser taking advantage of my sister's. I mean Karissa should be focused on High School and not what's going at home like that. Jeez. Talk about a lame father eh? Well then again I always wished for the day I'd leave. I mean he always would tell me, "You'll thank me later" AHAHA Thanks for nothing old man. I mean he's an old fut already jeez. Trying to act like he can get laid or something...fat fuck AHAHAHA. Man I'm a spiteful person. Oh well it's how I dealt with things. Hmm other random info for blog.... Ahhhh I burned another friendship bridge with "Fish". Not like I care. Not like he cares. I mean he's got so many problems with me, I say fuck him and turn around. Not WORTH trying to save a friendship with someone like that. Just not worth it!!! Hmm..oh yeah...at the end of the month I'm moving out !!! Well since everyone thinks I'm already at Mauka w/e...*rolls eyes* Losers. I mean Karissa doesn't seem to give a fuck about me and Kriss...Let's leave her out. Sandy...she's doing her own thing and having a life and working so that's really cool ^-^ Kamu...dear god she's getting bigger and Kaleo...man I need to make it a point to visit on her birthday being march babies and related and all!!! *yawn* It's 2:36AM and I've managed to totally ruin my sleeping schedule from normal to WAY fucked up. Regardless...
Hmm... Almost 19 which is really scary considering how fast time recently has gone by. 6 MONTHS! HOLY SHIT!!!! Dear god! Have I seriously been out that long?! I mean god...wow! But yeah... *continues to listen to World with Me* I listened to this song for more then 10 Hours straight...dear fucking lord! Well as David them continue with High School drama I can't but help but just go, "meh". Life seems fine in my eyes. I'm alive. I've got good friends. And we aren't brainwashed by aliens...or are we?! *hides*
Hmmm....
Yep..I PRBLY had more to type but that's enough I suppose. Random ranter, grammar errors....oh well.
Ja!
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